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new direction [20 Jan 2004|04:01pm]
I have decided to turn this journal into something more useful. This journal will now be a collection of songs and poems and quotes that I like. some will be original and some will not. Hope you enjoy. I dont care if you dont though. LOL. no really.
im out
take a card, chere

[16 Jan 2004|11:59am]
you want to talk pissed off

Ive not been this frustrated at anyone since Master's Commission.

I cant make it to my english class in ten mins from the building i am in for the class before it. So i try explaining this to the fag. i mean prof. what does he say? "well, you may just have to run." no, listen up, YOU had better be the one to start running, because I swear on everything if you continue to piss me off like that, I will kill you. dead. end of story. die.

try me

the rest of the day has been great.

lunch time.
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roller coaster...of love...roller coaster...woo woo woo [15 Jan 2004|10:14pm]
I had lunch with my Grandfather today. Nothing major, just Wendy's. But he has the best stories of anyone ever. I love that guy. He was in WWII, so I had lunch with a hero, and I obsess over heroes anyways so. yeah.

I had a terrible afternoon, someone really really brought me down about everything. I was gonna type about it all, but after the night I have had, it doesnt matter anymore. Tony called me up to tell my how much he loves me and how awesome he thinks I am doing at my Job, and that everyone is glad I am there and stuff. Major pick me up. and then Alexis called, and I havent talked to her forever, and it was good. She always makes me feel special. I really miss her, I wish we lived closer together, and we could hang out more and stuff. Some ppl just have this way about making you feel closer to God. I think it was CS Lewis who said "Every time you interact with ppl, you either draw them closer to God or drive them further." Well, she is deffinately a bring me closer person. I need to tell her that someday. So anyways, day was great, and I need to do some homework, So ill catch yall on the flipside.
Im out.
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[15 Jan 2004|09:11pm]
City/State/Province you're from:Indiana
Reason for LJ username:mix of my favorite band and stitch from Lilo and Stitch
AIM sn:Gambitssolace
Reason for AIM sn:mix of xmen character and my old band
Do you enjoy reading my LJ?:heck ya
Why?:cuz its fun
Interesting fact about you:im striaght
Weird fact about you:see above
Quote: Im not made of steel, but your secret's safe with me
Will you post this in your LJ?:I did.
take a card, chere

are we alone, you feel it? so lost and dissillusioned. [14 Jan 2004|07:30pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]

I now realize that I havent made a real entry in this journal for quite some time now.  I have been really busy, with school and all.  I had my first day of going to ALL my classes, and all I have to say is that Math is gonna be a work horse class.  I have already had three assignments and a quiz this fri and I have only been there twice.  I am up for the challenge though, dont get me wrong.  Im not gonna make the same mistake that I made last semester.  I mean, my bestest friend Geoff made all A's and he took really hard classes too.  He's awesome.  But I know he got good grades cuz he acually studies, I know first hand cuz I was always like "hey G, lets go turn over cars" and he would say, "sorry man gotta study."  LOL. YOU KNOW ITS TRUE!!! ha.

anyways, I really enjoy school now.  I am looking forward to classes and everything.  I just needed a change of perspective, coupled with the first hand experiance of seeing some of my peers that didnt make it to school.  If baby-sitting is the best form of birth control, then hanging out with drop outs and stuff is a great motivator to go through school. 

In other recent news, Lella and Troy got a new cat.  Its name is Pepsi, becuase Lel works at an animal clinique, and someone left the cat in a pepsi  24 pack cardboard thingy, and she brought it home.  I really really want a grat longhaired barncat, but my dad is alergic.  So when I move out, I think I am gonna get one.  Anyone out there wanna recommend a good kind of cat?  I know Alison's cat is SO Beautiful.  I need one that is quite and likes to chill on the couch.  HA kinda like me but quite. 

Also, I am feeling torn cuz I really want to go to IWU next year and get out of the hellhole school I am in now, but at the same time I think God may want me there for a reason.  So pray that I figure all that fun stuff out.  I know that things will be good either way, but I wanna figure out where I should be.  well, thats it for now.  Worship my Icon.  Im out.

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[13 Jan 2004|04:53pm]
I love my two new icons. they both rock.
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somebody's getting a new bass.... [13 Jan 2004|10:16am]
[ mood | anxious ]

Hey ho. I officially hate you. My SG is about 500. Yours is about 900. Die. -- Aaron

LOL, that was an email I got from my friend and guitarist Aaron. He and I both had some unique guitars to trade in. mine was a mellodymaker, and his was an SG of sorts. So oether way, it looks like we are going to be getting some new toys! I need a new bass really badly, and it looks like I can get it in time for the show. I am wondering if he meant that they would give me that much for it (either in cash or store credit) or if thats just what its worth. hmmmm.....Aaron let me know soon.

In other recent news, I successfully got through the rest of my day at school yesterdiddy. I even found the one class that I couldnt, but it was freakin harder than heck to find. geez. It was all hidden and crap.

Last night, I was in a really odd mood. I was being really sarcastic and stuff, mean really, but I dont know why. maybe I was tired or something. I dont know. I do know that not everyone gets my humor. Like the girl I told to die a horrible death last night. When I say that and it sounds like I mean it, i dont always. sometimes its a joke. sometimes.....

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Lost for you, Im so lost.... [12 Jan 2004|11:18am]
Im lost. LOL. I had an english class that I just completely missed becuase I couldnt freakin find it anywhere. I cant find the "LA" building it is in, I think it was lafollette, But I dont know that for sure. Not one other person on this campus seems to know that either. LOL. So at least I am not alone eh. Im going to go back and try to find it this afternoon after my meeting with my counsoler. Which I am completely not looking forward to.

The past few days have been fun, but mainly uneventful. We had practice last night, and it went well. We are trying to narrow down what songs we are playing with our dreams works audition. We got close, but we havent decided yet. Also, we have a show the 24th at Birdies, and I am trying to get us shows in Marion, but no luck yet. Well, I really need to go and do school now.
6 cards| take a card, chere

Two chicks at the same time....... [10 Jan 2004|12:54pm]
[ mood | good ]

My subject headings are getting weird. anyways.

The past few days have been a lot of fun. Last night I went over to Lella and Troy's and watched Anger Management and American Wedding, and we drank some. Not much really, not much at all. But it was enough for me. The baby of theirs wouldnt fall asleep, so the poor couple was up almost all night trying to get him down. I really like the kid and all, I think he is cute and what-not, but I am glad I dont have the responsibility of kids yet. One day I will, and I will like it, but Im just not ready for that sort of thing.

Caleb and I are repainting my room. Right now it is white, with these really dirty/nasty spots on the wall. I honestly have no FREAKIN idea of what they are, but they are really gross looking. So we are going to paint my room in phases. Phase on is red and blue strips about eight to ten inches wide. phase two is the Captain America sheild, Spiderman symbol, Venom Symbol and Xmen symbol, and Magneto's helmet on the wall. (note: my room is upstairs and is considered to be a half a room, so part of my walls slant with the roof.) Then starting at the light in the middle of my cieling, we are going to paint a spider web going down over everthing but the symbols, so that it will look like there are three layers to it. I am pumped, cuz i havent ever done anything like this yet. I wanted to add in things like shelves that looked like buildings with gargoyles and stuff, since I am 21 and soon I will probably have a wife that wont let me do that sort of thing, but I am just taking it one step at a time right now.

I start classes again on monday, and band practice TOMORROW!! Im am excited to get back into the swing of things again, and hopefully I can manage my time a little bit better now. anyways, I need a shower.
im out

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Do you, do you like dreaming of things so impossible.... [07 Jan 2004|05:02pm]
I just returned home from the Doctor. She is dang near sixty years old. and I needed a physical and a Tetnis (sp?) shot. But she didnt grab my balls AT ALL!! I was kinda dissapointed. Here I went out of my way to get all done up and smell nice and stuff, and she doesnt even check out the package. geez, doc, come on. Its been a few months since i last had time to mess around...this was gonna be free for you and cheap for "them". haha

Anyways, I felt the need to make an official entry in this journal now that I am back. The break was awesome for me, I did lots of fun fun stuff.

1) Caleb (my bro) and I went monkey hunting. for real. we almost had some, too.

2) Caleb and I went to Islands of adventure, any true marvel fan should go there, it was a blast.

3) We went to the zoo, and it was really neat, and the rhinos damaged a car behind us.

4) Jake got sick and puked everywhere.

That is just to list a few of the many many things that happened. I spent new years eve and day with Christin, and it was a blast seeing her again. ok, thats all for now, cuz i got some stuff to do
im out
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[07 Jan 2004|07:38am]
Im home....back.

the trip was mucho fun. Had a blast...dont feel like typing anymore...

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lol my leaving song. Mark Wills "when you think of me" [18 Dec 2003|08:57am]
You look so peaceful sleepin’,
You don’t know that I’m leaving, but I’m gone.
Well I did my best to beat ‘em, but in my head, the demon said, move on.
You wake up your gonna curse my name.
But as some time goes by I hope and pray.

When you think of me,
Remember the way that I used to be.
Remember the times I held you, tenderly.
Remember the way that I loved you.

I think about the night I met you, I swore I’d never forget you, well I won’t.
I think about the way you’ll live and breath,
Inside my dreams forever.
You’ll be better when I’m gone, you’ll be better when I’m gone.
Cause I know your gonna fall in love again.
I’m sorry this is how it has to end.

But when you think of me, remember the way that I used to be.
Remember the times I held you tenderly.
Remember the way that I loved you.
Oh, when you think of me.

As I pick up these bags and turn around
I say a little prayer and hope somehow.

When you think of me, remember the way that I used to be.
Remember the times I held you, tenderly.
Remember the way that I loved you.
take a card, chere

Good bye to you [18 Dec 2003|08:51am]
OK, so this is my last LJ post for the next few weeks or so. Im really gonna miss everyone! no really!...no...for reals.

LOL, anyways, no one get hurt or die or anything, and Ill give yall updates when I get back. I would leave sappy individual messages to everyone, but I just watched Pirates, and I like they way all Jack says to Will at the end was "nice hat." so....

Amy "nice hands"
Tracy "remember, I have B's " (that was the funniest convo I have had with you)
Jake "nice way to not post ever"
Allison "nice kitty"
Erin "Nice way to still be in Masters"
everyone ele..."nice....hat?"
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[16 Dec 2003|10:07pm]
To sum it up quickly.

Had finals.

spent time with Molly.

watched movies. good ones.

posted on my website.

the end
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In light that everyone else thinks finals suck too, and I just failed my first one..... [16 Dec 2003|08:16am]
[ mood | depressed ]

I wish I was brave
I wish I was stronger
I wish I could feel no pain
I wish I was young
I wish I was shy
I wish I was honest
I wish I was you not I

I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callused
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

I wish I was smart
I wish I made cures for
How people are
I wish I had power
I wish I could lead
I wish I could change the world
For you and me

I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callused
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over.

That one goes out to my Mom. peace.

1 card| take a card, chere

Does the posting ever end?!? [15 Dec 2003|01:50pm]

It was a chance experience, nothing else. It was not ordained by Cupid, nor did his arrows pierce either person involved. that being said, It started out from a mistake. A poor judgment, and mostly on my part. I, being in somewhat of a hurry after turning in my test paper, tried to go around two girls that were trying to find a paper they had turned in. as I stepped off the platform, she turned around with the same thought in mind, and at the same place I was. Needless to say, this wasnt going to work. Unless she or I, developing some sort of superhuman power or reaching some sudden stage of Enlightenment, developed a sudden ablitity to phase through the other, preventing collision. It was unaviodable, in hindsight. To say that we caught each others eye would be untrue, because she cast a quick glance at me, and I did not turn around to completely face her, so she could only see my left eye, and that not very welll. Then it happened. At the same time, in the same voice that completetly lacked all emotion, we muttered the SAME exact sentence to one another.

"excuse me"

Yes, that phrase was what opened up my eyes to the truth of the situation.  We simply both said what we felt was socially required of us, so that niether of us would fall into the category of "prick" or "jerk" or some of the other not-so-nicely-named forums.  Not a big deal?  What does that have to do with anything?  Everything.

Social requirements.  Ways to behave (or more so in my case NOT behave) in public settings.  Little things to do or say so that we will not be labeled as outcasts of Etitcate (I dont know how to spell that word)  What does it all have to do with us?  It resricts us of true freedom from ourselves.  In doing so, we must admit that we are not free to make our own decisions the way we truly want.  proof?  I really didnt care if she granted me excuse to HER intrusion of MY space.  And while I make no claim to read thoughts, I have the feeling that she felt the same.  Yet we each did something we did not feel like we should have to.  We fell slave to what expectations we placed on ourselves.  Given that it didnt matter, we wouldnt have said anything to each other, save maybe a rude comment if one of us was having a paticularly bad day.  Why?  because we felt the "need".  But did we really NEED to?  No, it was a "want".  I wanted to be socially accepted.  But if I were to go home and tell my Mother of this, she would say that I NEEDED to say excuse me.  and this illustrates my point.  We have completely lost all concept of Needs and Wants in our lives.  Example.

Ever played Tetris?  Imagine for one moment, that as you made the lines connect, instead of disappearing into Tetris Heaven, they stayed there, and you had to continue building upon the levels.  The same is true of our society.  We started at a base level, and the more pieces of technology that fill our screen, the higher our standard of living has become.  Why is this a problem?  Let your pieces stack up to the top of the screen and you shall find that the game is over.  You have to start all over again.  Thus is one of the problems of Welfare, and this leaves us begging the question, "Where does this all end?"  How do we know when we stop helping and start hurting?  How do we know we are helping at all?  Should we help? 

It started out from a mistake.  And it has caused me to open up my eyes to some of the bigger ones that I have been making.  Those would simply be the fact that I have failed to care, and failed to think things through to completion.  But I have offered up opinions when I should have been silent, for a seer does not speak.  Save only unless he is asked.  You didnt ask for this, so once again, I am opinionated.  Loudmouthed.  So tell me, those of you who are still reading this (bless you).  Should we help?  are we hurting?  How do we know?

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FREEDOM [15 Dec 2003|11:55am]
[ mood | jubilant ]

So I wanted to wait for three days just to make sure it wasnt a fluke.

It wasnt.

I didnt want to find out later that I would be wrong

I wasnt.

I wanted to wake up THREE times, and if I did I would know for sure

I did.

I havent missed anyone when I woke up in the morning.  NO ONE.  I am finally free.  Let the games begin.

take a card, chere

NO not Santa, not Jesus, No Tracy, not even that Armadillo..... [15 Dec 2003|11:52am]
[ mood | confused ]

So it turns out that Jesus ISNT The reason for the season after all. This isnt my opinion, so before you go wanting to tell me how I should burn in Hell, tell it to the real estate office in Marion. On their Billboard, I read last night that "Jesus isnt the only reason for this season." Yeah I guess it is about Selling houses. Money. OH WAIT! thats right, it IS. Its all about MONEY. Welcome to America, the newest Pagan nation in this happy Capitalistic world. Sad, but ultimately true. This happy time of year, the most wonderful time of year some might even say,(my vote still goes to Applebee's half off apitizers time myself) has become a little more than yet another holiday that the corporate world has seized control of. All of these things to buy, and all of them yet another neccesity to live a happy life and make sure the children you are raising wont grow up to be abnormal. Heaven forbid they should be given to the dillusion that you dont always get everything. We could squelch their little personalities. So I started looking up real estate. After all, how dissapointed would I be if I missed the real reason behind Christmas. It isnt about faith, or about family, or about love, or about taking time to apprieciate the beauty life has to offer. Its about 2nd morgages and Home Owner insurance. Its about Property. Kinda sucks all the Ho Ho Ho right outta life doesnt it? well, there is always St. Patricks day. If only I looked a little bit better in green. So this isnt anything new...but I just got pissed about it. I must now go find Holiday candy....it shall make all wrongs righted.

take a card, chere

[14 Dec 2003|06:32pm]
Dark Mask
You are a Dark Mask, the fourth class of vampire.
You can adapt easily to any climate and
situation. Your servants are few, mostly
because you choose not to sire others. Your
chief ability is shiftery-- you can become
anyone or anything. Overall, you are a great
person. Keep us guessing.

What class of vampire are you? (more new images!)
brought to you by Quizilla
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I woke up in a car. [14 Dec 2003|09:32am]
Not really. I woke up sick though, and with finals this week, lets hope that the culprit is the mexican food, and NOT the flu again.

But sick as I am, I am still making the trek to the mecca that is the RCA Dome to see the Colts take down the Falcons. Because it smiply must happen.

Geoff and I went to Kokomo last night to hang out and waste time. And the snow came down hard HARD hard on the way home. We slid all over the place, but due to my amazing navagational skills and Geoffs keen sense of...uh....balance we were able to successfully make it home, where we watched music videos and I read comic books, and we talked. I bought Magneto "Rogue Nation" and Assult on weapon X. and I also got the new Blink 182 CD. Different from usual, but really good for my opinion. I gotta get on the road, so I leave you, my dear journal, with these thoughts.
take a card, chere

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